


If It’s Roses They Will Bloom

by Satara



Series: Restless Nights [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Composer Changkyun, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Rapper Jooheon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satara/pseuds/Satara
Summary: The times Jooheon proposed, Changkyun said no and the one time he didn’t.





	If It’s Roses They Will Bloom

Jooheon was five when he found a friend in the lonesome boy by the tracks. He was everything Jooheon wasn’t, meek and shy and with the loveliest dimples that could rival his own. Jooheon loved them, he also loved their owner.

The first time he said it, they were walking on the old abandoned train tracks, Changkyun talking animatedly about the piano lessons he will be starting, the sun shining brightly overhead and giving Changkyun the prettiest gleams.

Changkyun was pretty, he thought. “I’m gonna marry you.” He said, amazed and awed. 

Changkyun stopped and looked at him like he was crazy or crazier than he originally thought.“No.” He said with a frown.

“What do you mean no?” Jooheon scowled, Changkyun was his friend he was supposed to say yes.

“Well we’re young, an-and-“His frown deepened. “Marriage is for adults.” Changkyun said certainly, Jooheon didn’t understand.

“Who said marriage is only for adults!” He said with the earnest desperation of a six year old.

“Mom did.” And that was the end of it, well at least for Changkyun, because the second time Jooheon declared he will marry Changkyun and Changkyun refused he screamed “I’ll prove you wrong,” before he stomped angrily in the direction of his home.

The third time, he was six and eagerly weaving flowers into the shape of a crown, Changkyun seated beside him and failing to do the same.

Once finished, he put the crown atop Changkyun’s head. “Pretty?” Changkyun asked, giving Jooheon the big toothy smile he loved. Jooheon smiled widely back and tried remembering the word he learnt at school that day, the one that meant very pretty.

“Beautiful,” He screamed in enthusiasm. “It means very pretty.” Changkyun’s smile grew wider and his cheeks tinted in a pale pink, he looked more than beautiful. Jooheon wished he knew the word that meant that, he was sure Changkyun would be happy hearing it.

They get back to their flowers, Changkyun giving up and focusing on Jooheon while he worked on something other than a crown, he stared curiously as Jooheon worked the flowers until they took the form of a small circle, smaller than the crown on his head.

“It’s a ring,” Jooheon said, extending the flower ring for Changkyun to take. “Mom said if you were to marry someone, a ring is a must.” He repeated his mother’s words.“It’s for you.” He said when Changkyun didn’t take it. Changkyun only stared, eyes shimmering with something his younger self couldn’t understand, and then he started crying, letting bouts of tears that confused Jooheon even more. Jooheon dropped the flower ring in his haste to calm Changkyun down, and it was left, lost among clusters of sand and stone in an old run down train track.

Three days later, Changkyun left and the house near the tracks returned to its eerie lonely atmosphere.

He didn’t know it then, but that was his first heartbreak.

***

He was nineteen and in an underground club he usually frequented with Gunhee, they were among their friends, all of which had settled to watch other rappers’ performances instead of performing themselves it was a nice change, one that Jooheon embraced with delight.

Around the fifth set a guy stepped into the stage, Jooheon had never seen him around here before. He raised an inquiring eyebrow at Gunhee who shrugged and said. “New face,” as if that explained it. Jooheon nodded and turned his attention to the guy who introduced himself as  _I.M,_ He looked nervous and he spoke with a slight stutter that reminded Jooheon of days spent running around tracks. When he started rapping however, Jooheon could say he was pleasantly surprised, the guy – I.M was refreshingly good like an airy breeze on a stifling weather.  When his stage was done and over with Jooheon cheered along with the audience ignoring Gunhee’s pointed stare and knowing smirk. 

Gunhee disappeared somewhere before the final set only to return minutes later with another person, it’s I.M nervously fiddling with the cap in his hand as he tried to follow Gunhee’s hurried steps.

“What’s he thinking?” Hyungwon whispered exasperatedly eyes focused on the nearing due, Jooheon shrugged in answer.

Gunhee, ever the social butterfly took his place beside Hyungwon and introduced I.M to the rest of them. “Changkyun here is new to Seoul’s wild life, so be nice,” and with a glare he turned to Hyungwon “Especially you.” he said.  For his part Changkyun waved, his lips painted in a small smile and his eyes glistening with silent mirth. Jooheon hid his head in embarrassment at the feel of his quickening heartbeats.

 Changkyun settled beside Gunhee and Jooheon watched transfixed as he easily suited himself with the rest of them, falling into easy chatter and letting glimpses of himself shown as the night unraveled.

It happened unexpectedly, they were in the midst of the group discussion until they weren’t anymore. Somehow they lost themselves in a personal talk of their own, discussing rap, music and anything that came to mind, Changkyun was speaking about his favorite music icons and when he admitted his love for the Beatles with the most beautiful twinkle in his eyes, Jooheon all but shouted “Marry me.” Changkyun laughed a mirthful sound that warmed Jooheon’s heart. “These assholes all favor the Rolling stones,” He pointed at his friends. “I’ve been in a desperate need for someone who shared the love.” He explained with a sly smirk.

That was the fourth, though then, he had been mostly joking and he wasn’t aware that the Changkyun he kissed at the end of that night was the little Changkyun that was kept dearly in his heart and his mind.

Something sparkled that night, something that burned and burned until it finally extinguished two years after. Music gave Jooheon the limelight and while it gave Changkyun the same chance, Changkyun opted for the dimness. His choice broke that something and with it Jooheon’s heart tore for the second time.

***

Jooheon and Changkyun were an entity that broke and patched itself together, because even if they weren’t perfect for each other they were better together.

And together, they stayed; friends, roommates, colleagues, and certainly inseparable. Their friends didn’t understand it; their families did, said they’ve been through that phase and assured them it will get better.

It did get better, but not in the way Jooheon hoped for.  

While they worked on achieving their dreams they faced a world that was both harsh and rewarding. Jooheon built a life, Changkyun built a life, and they both forgot the fact that their lives are meaningfully intertwined, to the point that if one decided to walk away it would be hardly easy. Jooheon learned this the hard way. 

On a cold December night Changkyun found him sprawled in front of their door step, singing loudly old heartbreak songs.

“Please tell me you’re not drunk?” he said, coming to a stop near Jooheon’s slumped feet.

“I may have drunk a little too much,” Jooheon smiled cheekily at him, sighing Changkyun bent to haul him up.

“How was your date?” He asked while Changkyun struggled to pull him upright.

“Good.” He said once he managed opening the door, it took a lot of effort from Changkyun’s part to drag him to his bedroom, Jooheon didn’t feel sorry not when he could smell the cigarette smoke on Changkyun.

“Where you with him after?” Jooheon said, eyes boring holes into Changkyun’s coat.

“No, I was at the studio.” Jooheon wanted to huff in exasperation, did Changkyun take him for a fool because as far as his knowledge goes Changkyun didn’t smoke, just the asshole of a lover he had that did.

Changkyun laid him on the bed and while he tried to rid Jooheon off of his shoes, Jooheon watched the ceiling. This wasn’t what he hoped for, Changkyun finding love in someone else as Jooheon fell deeper into the cradle of Changkyun’s love without a way out wasn’t the better he desperately clutched on.

“You keep breaking my heart,” Jooheon said, resigned and tired.

“We’re not discussing this when you’re drunk, rest.”Changkyun said, tugging him under his blankets. Jooheon let an undignified sound and mumbled. “I’m not drunk, I’m just tipsy.” That caused Changkyun to laugh. Up close Jooheon could see the dark bags under his eyes the tired lines on his face, he still looked beautiful.

“Exquisite,” He said, Changkyun gave him the  _sometimes I don’t know what runs through your head_ look.“It means immensely beautiful,” He smiled. “You’re exquisite.”

Sitting by Jooheon’s side Changkyun chuckled and rested his head on Jooheon’s chest; Jooheon felt the vibrating laughter dissolve into silent cries and Jooheon thought it was unfair, he was supposed to be the one crying, he was losing Changkyun and he wasn’t prepared to let go, not then not ever.

“This isn’t the first time you break my heart, and I can’t find it in me to hold it against you.” He said, carding his fingers through Changkyun’s locks. Changkyun’s cries grew louder; whimpering against Jooheon’s neck as he nestled more securely beside him. It took long minutes before Changkyun calmed down, during which Jooheon dozed off and woke at the sound of broken snivels. 

“Maybe because I was young,” He said softly, Jooheon wouldn’t have heard him if they weren’t this close.

“Maybe,” He looked at Changkyun before he finished. “Or maybe I just love you too much.”

After three years of distinct distance they spend the night in each other’s arms, safe and warm and right.

Every night afterwards was spent in the same manner.

***

Jooheon was twenty-nine when a picture of him in a jewelry shop buying what looked like a wedding ring spread like wildfire in the internet. Jooheon, clueless to the hurricane his little escapade had set into motion, peacefully packed for the much-needed getaway he and Changkyun planed after long months and sleepless nights spent perfecting Kihyun’s album. Changkyun came from someplace in their new home, hair disheveled and face scrunched up in a confused scowl.

“Have you seen it?” He said, coming to an abrupt halt by the bed. Jooheon didn’t know what Changkyun was talking about; it must have showed in his features because a second later Changkyun shoved his phone into Jooheon’s hold.

Jooheon took the phone and read through the open article, with every little line he read his heart sunk a little deeper in the pits of his stomach and when he rested his eyes on the picture at the bottom of the article his heart just about stopped.

“They say you bought a ring,” Changkyun said, frantically pacing around the room while he bit nervously on his fingernails; it was a sight not at all foreign to Jooheon. And Changkyun couldn’t crumple right now, the last thing Jooheon wanted was for Changkyun to runaway, to hide under a shell and leave him with another  _no_  and a silver ring.

“They speculate?” He tried to shrug it off, but Changkyun’s nervous and slightly hopeful. “Did you?” stopped the influx of lies he was no doubt going to spew. True, he didn’t want his grand real proposal to happen like this but it seemed it was Jooheon’s destiny to propose in unconventional manners at unconventional times, he accepted the fact albeit begrudgingly, taking a deep breath he said.

“I’ve wanted to marry you since I was five. It’s safe to say, you can take a wild guess,”

Jooheon readied himself for the worst. And the worst he had imagined  didn’t have Changkyun latching into him like Jooheon was his lifeline, it didn’t have Changkyun saying yes and yes and yes, over and over again, it didn’t have Jooheon crying (or maybe it did but for completely different reasons) because  _yes_  finally. 


End file.
